Today is my seven week weigh-in. I haven’t gone to the bariatric clinic yet, my appointment is in an hour. No, I have not had bariatric surgery. There was a time when I was weeks away from the surgery and opted out. I understood that I would be one of the people that would gain the weight back because I had not changed my thinking. I’ve always known that I needed to change my thinking to have successful long term weight loss. A year later the hospital’s bariatric clinic phoned to tell me there was a new non-surgical program starting, I was the first patient the doctor saw!
I spent the first three months in the clinic’s program eating everything in sight, waiting until they put me on a very restricted diet. By the fourth month I realized that they weren’t putting me on a restricted diet, or any diet for that matter, it was about discovering what worked for me, which meant I had to come up with the criteria…very clever indeed! I spent the next year yo-yo dieting. I thought for sure I would get kicked out of the program; I’m happy to say the team at the clinic has never given up on me.
By now you may be wondering, if I’ve been in the bariatric program for over a year, how is this my seven week weigh-in? It’s been seven weeks since I changed my thinking, found what works for me and have had steady weight loss. It took 37 years, since I was 12 years old, of yo-yoing, self-doubt and emotional turmoil to understand what was right for me. I had to learn to think out of the self-deprivation diet box. Have I perfected this…are you kidding, whether I’m a therapist or not, it’s a journey with no final destination, that’s what I needed to understand and accept. I had to create a way of eating I would be able to keep even after I reached my goal weight. For me that means making food fit my lifestyle, as opposed to trying to change my lifestyle to fit a diet.
My last weigh-in was two weeks ago, at the five week mark, at that point I was down 25 lbs. Right now I’m talking to myself…Making sure that no matter what the results, I know with certainty that I will lose weight, that I am not disappointed if it’s less than the amount I would like to have lost in the past two weeks. Ah the mental games a lifetime dieter plays with his or her self, and it is a game. That’s why I chose the photo this morning, before the weigh-in.
It’s my responsibility to remind myself that even if I gain a pound that I am on the right track. I have, and still am, transforming my thinking and that will take me further on this journey than a number on a scale. Oh but I am so attached to those numbers. So much so that when I started at the bariatric clinic I gave my scale away. I knew I would weigh myself daily and make myself miserable. How will I feel after I weigh in today…
…I have returned from the clinic with a six pound loss, I went from 296.6 lbs to 290.6 lbs, a 31 pound loss in total. I’m content with this, and this is what I was psyching myself up for…I wanted to hit 289, just to escape the nineties. The good news is I’m not disappointed. I can live with this until the next weigh-in which is two weeks from today. For now I just need to concern myself with making great tasting foods that quench my cravings and keep me on track, like a dessert to celebrate with!
May your journey be delicious and the company you keep inspiring and supportive.